Monday, March 29, 2010

curfews... pfft..



I was recently asked, "Which 19-year-old has a curfew?!" I gave the 'you-really-wanna-know?' look and replied, "Ask the parents, man. It's all the parents." Seriously. I'm over 18 and I can't go out. What a life, huhh..


And I think my course is one of the most annoying course I've ever heard of.
One. We study business and computer when we're supposed to be learning about children. OK fine. The benefits are pretty much self-explanatory. I just find it stupid.
Two. We have attachment once a week since year 1. And we still have classes to go to. Even Nursing students have attachments only during the holidays. AND THEY GET PAID! Which brings me to point
Three. WE DON'T GET PAID FOR ATTACHMENT. Even during the full-time 6-month internship. bloody hell. And I heard we have to set up learning corners and design activities for the children... Pfft..

Seriously. I think this course suck cock. *sighs* OK I admit I might be a TEEEENYY bit bias because I'm seriously giving up. But still.. Considering the circumstances... *sighs*

p.s. pre-requisites suck cock

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:34 pm



Saturday, March 27, 2010

Cold

Cold
EFJ
My patience is thinning
My blood close to a boiling
Can’t find anyone to break my fall
Feel like ending it all
I stretch out my hand
Desperate for comfort
All I grasp
An empty space full of hurt

I seek warmth I seek comfort
I’m left in the cold I’m all alone in the dark
Why can’t it be so simple why’d I have to go through this
Is it so difficult am I asking for too much

I want to break away
I need a breather
Can’t I go for just one day
Without anyone to bother
Sometimes all I need is time
Even then it can’t be fulfilled
Even if on the surface it all seems fine
What goes on inside no one bothers to see

I seek warmth I seek comfort
I’m left in the cold I’m all alone in the dark
Why can’t it be so simple why’d I have to go through this
Is it so difficult am I asking for too much

And when all else fails
This is the only way I know how
When my emotions are swayed
All I do is sit and think of a song
‘Coz when my patience is thinning
My blood close to a boiling
And when I can’t find anyone to break my fall
I just might end it all

Yes, love. These songs are originals. :) Thought on the spot, inspired by events in my mundane life. Which pretty much explains its lameness(English fail, I know. shush)

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
11:26 pm



:)

Had a heart-to-heart talk with the lovely. Short, because of the stupid curfew. But enough to send tears down :)

Thanks, love

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
11:04 pm



*sighs*

I'm tired. Really. I'm really tired. Hopefully after all these, things will go back to at least anyone's definition of normal.

I don't know how long I can hold on. But I have to try. For anyone's sake, even my own. This hatred growing inside of me. I must push it down, I must extinguish it. How I wish life was simpler. But then again, what's so interesting about a simple life, right? I hope sometime in the future, I can look back to this time and tell myself I carried myself through this time with pride and dignity and I did not break down anywhere in between, giving up. And with that, give me the courage to carry my life into the future.

I wish everything'll be settled as soon as possible, please. Someone listen to my plea.

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
6:50 pm



Monday, March 22, 2010

*sighs* =)

I absolutely love their LIVE performances. Words do no justice to how much I adore their LIVEs. Watching this, somehow, something tugged at my heart, and tears unexpectedly rolled down. Serious. Crybaby, I know. Hahh. But honestly. Watching them perform from the bottom of their souls. Somehow it gives you hope of love once again.

Now to liven things up abit, something nostalgic.

Ahh. Massu's pout... *sighs* How can someone be so cute? My Shoon is so adorable in here; when he was confused. This was what made me fall in love with him. xD Kyaa~ Such a pity he's not in Hey! Say! JUMP. It's just 11 days away.. T.T Stupid Johnny. Pfft. Oh yes. Which reminds me: I HEARD SHOON'S QUIT JOHNNY'S!!! OI MAJI?! SOMEONE PLEASE CONFIRM IT!! T.T

Noooooo~ My Shooooonnn~ *sighs*

love,
EFJ


♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:01 am



sneak peak

Some of the reviews I got from my friends:


It seems like what you would write


Your writing has improved tremendously


The character seems just like you


=.=

Ahh well.. They seemed like good reviews.

Well, another peak:

As they reached the staircase landing, the smell of hot chocolate wafted through
her nose and calmed her nerves a tad. As if in a trance, she glided to the
kitchen and sat at her place where her favourite rose mug filled with her
beloved drink stood, and whiffed as much as she could of the aroma before
finally giving in to her taste buds’ demands. As the liquid particles landed
onto each taste bud, her mind suddenly turned blank, the surroundings spinned
and her world filled with nothing but chocolates. She closed her eyes and
rejoiced in the feelings that drink gave her. The bitter tinge of cocoa blending
with the sweetness of the sugar and the warmth of it all filled her soul with
ease. She savoured every moment the sweet taste of the mixture lingered on her
tongue and the sensation of the solution running down her throat, slowing her
heartbeat, dissolving with it her worries. She licked the leftover chocolate
from her lips and gave a contented sigh. This is what chocolates made her.
Anything can be solved with chocolates. This is better than alcohol any day.
Hands down. She grumbled when a voice interrupted her daze, causing her to crash
back to reality.


Tell me. Do you get cravings from reading this? I hope you do. It's supposed to make you crave. T.T

*sighs* I'm still a noob. Sorry.

Ahh.. I finished another song. ;) And I like it better than Smiling Eyes =)) It seems nicer. xDD

I've been watching old like super old Korean stuffs.. Featuring SNSD, SHINee and DBSK. HAHH!! What the hell happened to "What's up with them and the Kpop craze", I have no idea. xD I just started watching 2006 THSK Peace Project, SHINee Yunhanam Reality Show (Yes, that was Taemin's mangkuk-head era. Gosh how can someone so cute turn out so pretty? Oh. And I think I like Jonghyun. Though my first impression of him was somewhat a stuck-up, arrogant ass, and I was afraid of him, he seems like a nice guy. Or maybe it was only then. *shrugs*), and SNSD Factory Girl. I know, I know. I used to wonder what the whole big deal about SHINee and SNSD was.. xDD

And yes, I'm still faithful to my DBSK/THSK/TVfXQ =DD DBSK Hwaiting! xDD Ahh.. I hope everything turns out well for them. *sighs* DBSK is not DBSK without Yunho, Changmin, Jaejoong, Yoochun or Junsu. To remove or replace any would be a complete disaster, and you can expect a red sea all over the world within 2 hours.

I guess I'm done. :)

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
12:38 am



Saturday, March 20, 2010

I wish. Oh how I wish. With every particle of my core. That I can help the withering soul. That's suffering so much inside. That's screaming all alone.

But all I can say is I'll always be there. My shoulders are always available. My ears open.

The soul has to be ready. And I am always here when you are.

I can't force the soul to open up for it'll only shrivel in its own pain even more.

So I hope you see. That I want to be let in. To be involved. In whatever's happening. If there is any way I can contribute. Please don't hesitate.

I love you too much to let you go in alone. Please take me with you. You don't have to go through it alone.

My dear soul, you know who you are, I am dedicating this to. :)

Born from those childish days, you carry the scars

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:10 pm



oops

I've started writing again... After such a long time. xD

PREVIEW:

She smiled at the memory, her mind filled with images of a small orange and
yellow flame playing at the candle’s wick, beautifully dancing, melting the
candle’s wax in the process, as if doing the Devil’s dance. And as she got lost
in her own thoughts and images, her face was suddenly filled with dim light and
heat. Before she realised it, the candle in her grasp had lighted.


Tell me, dear readers, would you want to pick up this story?

Hid.. I'm planning to write Gerome's also.. But I don't know how to continue.. Wahaha xD

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:32 am



smile

Fukai mune no kizu wo se owanaide
Kimi wa kimi de irebaii sa
Maiagare kimi no kanashimi mo irasareru basho ni tsukerusa

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:39 am



Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Smiling Eyes

OK so Shila inspired me to post one of my own lyrics. xD Rusty, I know.. I'm a total noob.. Nothing compared to her. Hahh. =D So here goes =))
Smiling Eyes
EFJ


Smiling eyes
Cheerful smile
But who really can penetrate so deep down
Who really can understand this soul
This joy that hides so much sorrow

She tries so hard to keep it down
She tries so hard to let it go
But she can't survive for long
For soon she's been figured out

Smiling eyes
Cheerful smile
But who really can penetrate so deep down
Who really can understand this soul
This joy that hides so much sorrow

Such a lass
So fragile yet so strong
Who really can figure it out
What's going through her mind

So happy
So joyful
But who really can comprehend
This soul that hides so much
This heart that's silently breaking apart
Smiling eyes
Cheerful smile
But who really can penetrate so deep down
Who really can understand this soul
This joy that hides so much sorrow


Hope you enjoyed this lame piece of work. :) Maybe, if Shila posts another one, I'll post another too. heee xD

p.s. Shila, I love you. I'll always stand by you. Heck I know all 6 of us will. Don't ever forget that

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:47 am



Tuesday, March 09, 2010

whoosh

Alright.

I have made up my mind. I'm leaving as soon as everything's settled and I am not needed =)) No use clinging on to useless hopes. [Ahh fuck my English's gone bonkers]

Hopefully I don't hesitate and change my mind at the last minute =/

Wait for it, Shila.. =DD

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:44 am