dis-inclusion

the feeling of being left out..


love,
EFJ


p.s. he's cute.. hehee.. =DD

♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:55 pm

Thursdays

Thursday USED TO BE one of my favourite days of the week....

ever since sec 4..

right now, though, i suffer every Thursday.. *sighs*




love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
11:16 am

ohh wells..

my 'third eye' has been opened up way too wide for my comfort ever since i ............ ever since the semester started..


so many things going on... maybe too much for my little soul..

too much disrespect going around..
too much arguments..
too much conflicts..
too much dis-acknowledgement..
too much of people taking advantage of one another..
too much backstabbing..
too much of being kept in the dark..
maybe a little too much of .....................................(fill in the blanks larh horr)

can i quit..? as in.. quit life as a whole.. if even in school i can't cope, i wonder how i will survive outside.. and i don't exactly have any souls i can borrow to share it with me..

ohh wells.. maybe i'm just too demanding.. maybe i'm jumping to conclusions too easily.. maybe i'm just too sensitive.. ahh.. well... what else can i do but sit and watch..? let time tell... and hopefully, until then, nothing too drastic happens..

i'm smiling.. don't worry.. i'm serious.. i'm a strong woman.. i will survive and come out smiling like i used to..




and i really hope you kids stay.. =D i love you guys already can? all so enthu like that.. me loves.. ^.^' YAYY!! so many things planned for you humans.. =DDD

love,
EFJ

p.s. Liy.... i very the busy liao.. everyday 9-5 siaa.. even Saturdays.. unless you wanna meet me any Monday between 1 and 5.. =D

♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:46 am

DIE FM!!!

ohh Financial Management.. why can't you give me a more interesting teacher at least..?



i need to sleep early on Wednesdays so that i can stay awake..

3hours of Financial Management so early in the morning of one of the longest days of the week for mee... gawd i'm falling asleep as i'm typing.. thank Eera for that bubble gum... *blows bubble ~POP!~* =D i can blow bubble HOR~!


it's alright, dear.. you can stop pretending already.. i know... i don't mind... ^.^

ONE BLOODY HOUR LEFT~ GO ME!

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:59 am

i simply can't wait for that moment when i step out of your roof and never have to come back..

i can't wait for that moment when i no longer have to follow your system and rules..



someone marry me quick so i can get out of this prison.. i think Changi Prison's a nicer place to live in... ohh wells..



love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
9:19 pm

*sighs*

dear humans...

must everything i do or say be about or related to him...?? like seriously... wtfh?? you do realise there are other humans in my life and there are other guys that i know.. -.-'

why must his name appear after every sentence i say? rawrs... you people and your assumptions..


ahh ok.. Harper's Island... how..?? very very confusing.. takes me all the way back to Lost.. hrmm....


love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
4:15 pm

double happiness

a few weeks ago, i set a goal;
to be able to walk from NP to BP by the end of the semester...

it's not even the start and i have achieved it.. Najian obviously hates me but i don't care.. WOMAN! i need more jeans please... =D hehee..

ok.. i was contemplating as to whether i should stop at The Rail Mall or continue all the way till i reached Pending LRT Station.. SMSed Ansar and he asked me to continue.. ok. so i did.. but i think i deserve a slap.. i could have walked all the way to that last stop before the long stretch of road(highway or expressway? =/) to Marsiling.. but i was lazy and 171 had arrived just in time.. so i just stopped opposite Pending LRT Station and boarded the bus.. smart right?! omg. i hate myself.. *sighs*

ok. sectional was cancelled last minute due to unforeseen circumstances.. i went to school anyways.. cleared that last cupboard.. and i found a few interesting scores. =D percussion ensemble still have yet to be done, though.. still need to do the inventory for that.. HAIYOO~! so leceh..


and i'm not lying when i say that i really reall really hope to be able to make it..




i wonder who what when where why how..


and it's all falling apart coz of my ignorance.. i'm so sorry, baby...


love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:00 am

hello

ever heard of the term 'two-faced bitch' and/or 'hypocrite'?

hahh. well.. you're reading the blog of one right now..

have a nice life ahead! ^.^



love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
9:36 pm

whatever

kinda sucks...

when you have to do what you don't have to...

when you can't push it to someone else because there's noone to...

when everything just falls on you...

when everyone's there but there's noone you can turn to...



and how annoying can one be? no.. i'm serious... we're here, stranded, doing all your work, and you come up with excuses.. you keep saying you will, but you left us waiting in the end.. and you never ever reply either our questions.. must we waste our bill to call you up? even if it's a last minute thing, can you AT LEAST contact EITHER of us?! so that neither of us feels like a retarded fool being stood up.. goddammit.. what other excuses can you give next time? ohh wait.. i have a few suggestions for you:
~ my mother's giving birth
~ my GRANDmother's giving birth
~ my father just found out he's impotent, and i have to comfort him
~ i just made someone pregnant and i'm crying my heart out
~ my friend's getting fucked for the first time and i have to be there to guide him
~ my dog's giving birth
~ i have to slaughter my pig for my family
~ i just died
~ i'm in a coma
~ i ate at Geylang and now i'm in the hospital.
~ i'm dying soon and i'm going to everyone i know, seeking forgiveness.
~ i have to do research about a project i haven't been introduced to
~ i have to prepare for school which opens in 1 week

i have come up with 13 excuses. JUST for you.. pick one.. sorry i can't come up with anymore.. my brain's cracked up enough.. it's already 1.. i have to sleep.. nights.

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:00 am

=|

"this is your last connection with AI, ehh.."

hahh.. watch me..


hey hey.. only be sorry if what you gave wasn't your 100% at least.. you have all put in your best effort.. don't keep coming up with 'if only's.. it'll only make matters worse.. just look forward and tell yourselves that day would never ever repeat in your lives and the band's future..

remember our motto: Music from the heart is most pure

seniors step down with that in mind and continue to guide your juniors even when you're no longer a member.. juniors step up and guide the future generation, instilling that in their mind. and whatever the future might hold, stay united and charge through it as one. YAYY! i'm so proud of you humans. =DD ^.^ jiayou jiayou for the future.. WHEE~


i really wonder the significance of my existence.. sometimes i wonder if you were really sincere or you were making fun of me or you were just pitying me.. you look for me when you're alone, throw me away when you're not, and pick me up again when you are...
ermm.. hello..? i can survive without beings like you in my life.. i think i'm better off alone than be in a world filled with beings like you..

and i think i'm way too nice for my own good..

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:11 pm

stress??

i need money..

i need lots and lots and lots of money..

and i'm not saying this coz i feel like going shopping..

i can wear something till i grow out of it and/or it's tattered..

i need it for something much more critical..

buying planner for meself.. fuck. how did it come to this??? till i'm buying a planner?! why am i stressing myself out over nothing?!

shit. i need someone.. and i'm not breaking down.. i need someone to clear my mind off everything..

need i drink or smoke it all away? i don't want to resort to that..

and i need to buck up.. on my studies.. i want to get that PhD in psychology..

so why am i focusing more on something other than that??

interrogation from them on studies aren't exactly helping either..

can i like.. stay out of it for the moment? like.. clear my head and then go back if possible?

how did i get myself into this?


love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:37 am

oohlala randomness~

i just realised that my underhand passing is stronger than my overhand.. everything is underhand.. i am only strong in digging and underhand serve.. my setting and overhand and jump serves are pathetic... spiking..?? HAHH!! forget about it.. shit.. even when i throw things i throw underhand.. =/ and i wanna join volleyball next sem..?? am i shittin' or whuut..? haha. ok whatever..

like seriously.. i need to play volleyball soon or i'll crumble.. omg. i miss volleyball like crazy.. could someone please invite me go volleyballing..?? Myra..? Evia..? Najian..? anyone..? =( like seriously..

and that Liyana woman seriously needs to set a date not on a Thursday or Saturday with me to go ransack Sembawang Library for Cate Tiernan's and L. J. Smith's books..

OMG! I NEED VAMPIRE DIARIES 2: THE STRUGGLE PLEASE!!! AND I NEED TO COMPLETE READING THE LAST SWEEP BOOK AND THAT FEW BALEFIRE BOOKS BEFORE I FORGET THE WHOLE STORYLINE LARH SHIT!
haha. ok. sorry for the sudden outburst..

ouhh.. i'm so not proud of myself..
Thursday, i didn't walk home from interchange.. coz i was too tired.. i even alighted at my stop and just crossed the bridge.. =( i did 100 crunches - 30-40-30 - and 100 lower-ab thingie - 30-40-30 - but that did no justice to my total lack of exercise for that day, please.. AND I DIDN'T EVEN WALK TO THE INTERCHANGE FROM HOME IN THE AFTERNOON!!! i need to start waking up early so i can finish early and leave while Mummy's still sleeping and escape the nagging.. so that i can walk to the interchange.. like seriously.. i didn't even walk to ADMIRALTY!!! i was so disappointed... ='((
Saturday(yesterday), I DIDN'T WALK TO THE INTERCHANGE NOR ADMIRALTY AGAIN!!! coz i was bloody late.. =(( and that bus driver was so the noob like fk, my un-conceived daughter can drive even faster larh, please.. sperms can swim and fertilise the egg faster than that bus driver drives, larhh..!! wahh.. i was so embarrassed when i entered the room please.. rawrs.. haiyaa.. it's over... i'll just hafta wake up early from now.. should i jog in the morning or at night? hmm.. ok no. side-tracking..
anyways, ate at BTPKFC and walked to two stops after Al-Azzhar. ok. so Rizuan, Boncit and I walked.. Ansar CYCLED.. Azri was super lazy, he just stayed at Shell and waited for the bus. ohh wells.. i walked further than expected.. hopefully next time i'll walk even further. =DD took 171 to Yishun, then waited for 20 years for 858 to come.. coz Boncit was too lazy to walk home if we were to take 969.. -.- no wonder you boncit.. lol =P ahh.. it's ok.. alighted 1 stop before and walked home =D ok.. but..... I DIDN'T DO MY CRUNCHES AND LOWER-AB WORKOUT TODAY!!! RAWRS!!! JOGGING TWO ROUNDS TOMORROW!! ok. wait.. that won't do anything to my abs.. -.-'

and i think i'm growing muscle on my left calf and not my right.. =/ oohlala~ fuh-ree-kehh.. ok whatevs.. and Azri's being a total ass, mocking my cooking and baking skills.. what the f?

p.s. being a semi-vegetarian or a FLEXItarian, as you called yourself won't necessarily make you skinny, woman.. haha.. oh wells.. as long as you're not anorexic, i'm happy.. if you turn anorexic or bulimic, i'll slap your face and force food down your throat until you cry.. seriously.. =D

p.p.s. NAZRUL KENE KACAU DGN MR. T!!! kwang kwang kwang~
*in a deep, man's voice: "Katijah, bang.."*
HAHAHHA!! KEKEK KAPPAA!! =P

ok bye.

love,
EFJ

i knew you hated me.. but i didn't know you could stoop so low..

♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:42 am

why can't i get any encouragement and support around here?

walking home from the interchange is a bloody big achievement for me, ok.. i know you've done that a lot of times.. there was absolutely no reason to dampen my spirits, dammit.. ahh.. should've just kept it to myself.. ohh well.. this ain't stoppin' me from my 'healthy' lifestyle =D



i've been walking to Al-Azzhar now and only taking bus from there.. =) planning to do this everyday after school.. hopefully as time passes, i can go further.. and get to know the route.. and hopefully by the end of.... say... the semester...? i can actually travel to Bukit Panjang by foot alone.. =DDD super far-fetched, i know.. from my physique and fitness level.. but hey.. what's wrong in dreaming? =)) now who's wimme??

.................................................................................................................................................

i guess only crazy people would be. ohh well.. it's not like i can't do it on my own.. ^.^ YAY ME!! =D



i hate it when people assume when it's pretty obvious..
why must you assume that person knows everything about me just because we seem close?
why must you keep saying that person is my 'best friend' just because we talk all the time?
let me tell you once and for all.. i do not have a 'best friend'.. i don't even call the girls i have known for more than 5 years my 'best friends'.. whatmore someone i have only met for barely one..
true, i love them to bits, and they are everything to me and all.. but they are not my 'best friends' i do not take anyone as my 'best friend'.. sorry, but it's true.. they are people i love to bits.. they are my godsisters.. that's it.. not 'best friends'
i am naturally 'close' - as you might say - to anyone.. why don't you say everyone is my 'best friend' then?

do you have any idea the definition of a 'best friend'? a 'best friend' is someone you regard as the... well.. 'best' friend you ever had.. he/she is someone whom you tell every bloody thing to.. he/she is someone who knows you inside-out.. he/she is someone who needs not be told about anything. he/she is someone who is capable of knowing everything just by looking at your face.. he/she is someone you simply cannot hide anything from or lie to.. he/she is someone you tend to blurt anything and everything out to without being asked.. he/she is someone you need not be cautious around.. he/she is someone you can be yourself with.. he/she is someone who actually knows when you're serious and joking when others think otherwise.. he/she is someone who.. well.. simply understands and loves you, whacked-out or not, smart or stupid, gorgeous or fugly...

yes, that's the definition of a 'mother'.. but then again.. who actually cares and compares?

and why does it seem like i'm so easy to use? to be taken advantage of? is my life that insignificant and pathetic you only realise my existence when you need my help? you shun me when i don't help you, and you shun me after i help.. what am i to you? a rusty tool too expensive to change?

and now this post has turned depressing.. i'm a depressed soul ready to suicide anytime. ^.^"

nights, humans! =)

p.s. i love my girls to the max, still, despite that thingie up there. just know that... it's just that experiences change me.. i hope you don't take it too hard.. i love you and i still remember everything you have done for me.. :-) and i am really grateful to you for having entered my life and for accepting my existence in yours..

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:16 am

2-month-belated birthday celebration =D

Dear:

Humairah Binte Md Jamil,
Evia Natra Binte Anuwar,
Nur Rashilah Binte Rashid and
Syafiqah Najian Binte Ramlan..

i hate you humans to the core for almost making me cry on such a random day.

.....................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................


but i love you girls for taking time off from your busy schedule just to plan and carry out this (illegal) activity of yours.. haha.. i don't care if it's (way way WAAAYY) belated... all i know is that i really really didn't expect this.. (ok. fine.. maybe Myra did arise my suspicion somehow.. haha).. but i am truly, deeply grateful and i really really appreciate all these.. i'm serious.. words can't express my feelings and thoughts and gratitude towards you lovelies =)) i love you women. =D

p.s. Naj.. the part about my 'love life' is sungguh the tak perlu, okeyhs. haha.

so ok.. enough mush.. now pictures.

p.s. more photos can be found on Facebook. =D

YAYY!! I LOVE MY WOMEN! =D

and once again(though no matter how many times i say it, it does no justice to how i'm really feeling right now), THANK YOU SO VERY THE VERY SO MUCH!!! muax =)))

love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:21 am

*The Princess*

Nur Faiezah
Capricorn Goat
sinfully.innocent@hotmail.com
PAP Bedok North(Nursery)
PAP Simei(K1; K2)
Changkat Primary(1A; 2K; 3A; 4A; 5C)
Wellington Primary(5/1; 6/1)
Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary(1E5; 2E5; 3E5; 4E6)
Millennia Institute(PAE)
Ngee Ann Polytechnic's School of Humanities: Diploma in Early Childhood Education(1CO2)
CKP Netball
CKP Malay Dance
WPS Library
AISS Concert Band
MI Symphonic Band
NP Concert Band
NP Japanese Tsubasa Club

LOVES
whatever she likes
almost anything and everything :D

DISLIKES
Cockroaches; the only things that can make me run all the way to the other end of the world
Backstabbers?
Those who can't keep secrets
Confinement
Limitations
Assholes(except you-know-who=D)
Idiots(except.. well.. =D)
Hardly anything else :D

*Forgotten Tales*

December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
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June 2008
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August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
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December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
December 2011
November 2012
February 2016
June 2020

*Escape Routes*

Her Boudoirs
My Friendster Account
My MySpace Account
My MyYearbook Account
My Facebook Account
My Twitter Account

♥Royalties♥
Nana
Abang+Kak Shida
Kak Adah

♥Fairies and knight♥
Diaz
Fiqah
Myra
Shila
Syafz
Syimmerz

♥Agapians♥
Agape
Chief Juian
Love Eric
Love Sophie
Love Wayne

♥UedaLovers♥
Ueda Fanlisting
UedaLovers
UedaLovers Group
Ueda's Tale
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JinDa-ism
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AISS-ians
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Sixerz
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Su'aidah

Millenians
AIE
08A6 Esther
08A6 Mila
08A6 Nura
08A6 Sakinah
Flintstone, Atikah
Flintstones Sarah
Flintstone, Tian Shui
Flintstone, Yiwen

CO2'08
Ameera
Elizabeth
Guiyen
Sophia
Teti
Tiffany
Xing Wei

♪Bandits♪
♫AISS Concert Band♫
♫NP Concert Band♫
AICB Dickson
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YHCB Haikal

others
Daron
Valarie
Cabbage

Colleagues
Eileen
Jan
Theorell