i think Su is scary.. she knows too much about me.. she can even describe me.. *gasps* scary, leyh!! i think i should stay away from her for a while..
LOL~ just kidding.. it's amazing how people can know more about me than i know myself.. hmm..
wait wait.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.
stubborn & hard-hearted.. wen u sick dat time tell u eat medicine dont want..blablabla..n wen u dieting dat time oso.. so hard to tell u do e right things.. for e hard-hearted part..i guess it's hard for you to decide if one should be forgiven if they did something wrong towards you.. coz maybe you dont want history to repeat itself again.. or you would rather be without that person.
hardworking & productive.. ur job as e band librarian..u're efficient..n would rather carry out the post alone..as you think u're capable.. unless u need help..den u ask for it.. other den dat..u prefer others to stay out of it lah.. but u dont mind help sometimes..
sensitive & deep thoughts.. u're sensitive to others' feelings..u're owaez dere to help ppl out..listen to their problems & help find solutions.. n u noe they r owaez dere for you too if u need help.. coz u care for your frens & they r too..
know how to make ppl happy.. like duh..if we c ppl happy, we r happy too wat..so that we can forget bout our own problems for e meantime.. dat's a good thing wat.. lol
rather reserved.. u need ppl to approach you den u'll talk to them..if not, u'll just sit alone one corner..haha..lol..& u need time before u open up to ppl..& get comfortable around new frens.. everyone needs time to adapt..so no harm taking a longer time to fit in..
romantic but hard to express love.. hmmmm.. i dunno how to elaborate on this lah.. sometimes ppl can be daring to approach their crush n tell them their feelings.. irregardless of getting rejected or not.. but i think it's better to be frens with e person u like rather than be in a r/s.. well..for me lah.. just take ur time on love lah..dont rush..
love children.. it's ur course..& what u're interested in..
okay..end of story.. e rest i dunno coz havent see the qualities from you yet.. lol..
assertive, brave, energetic, action-oriented, intelligent, individualistic, independent, impulsive, full of strength, competitive, eager, straightforward, forceful, headstrong, pioneering, a leader, focused on the present and freedom-loving. They can also sometimes be intemperate, violent, impatient, fiery, rash, extreme, and arrogant.
assertive.. yesssss..but i dont think all e time.. coz all of us can be pretty decisive only for certain things.. other times..we ask our frens or family to help us make decisions.. but watever it is..is still up to u to make e right choices..coz it's only ppl's opinions.. n their judgements n wat's gd for u can b wrong.. so think through every suggestiong in a practical way..n decide wat's really best for u.. weight e options lah..
brave.. u can be brave in many ways..like how u overcome difficult situations.. like ur family problems now.. u've been through so much yet u're still doing ur responsibilities coz u cant run away from them though how much u want but u'll be a stronger person eventually & more brave to overcome more things lah.. like problems ur frens giving u..
energetic only wen u're ard crazy ppl.. n u can b pretty hyperactive..
action-oriented.. most of e time i think u're a follower..u would rather take orders from ppl.. but take charge sometimes..
intelligetnt & individualistic.. tis one u figure out urself.. lol..
independent.. yeah..u do most things on ur own..
impulsive.. have not seen this quality yet.. maybe wen it comes to love???..i dunno..
full of strength.. i think it's more like how much u can endure & persevere to move on no matter how tough a situation is.. i think it shld not apply only on how strong u r lah.. haha
competitive.. well all of us shld compete with each other to get wat we want..like grades or posts or watever..
straightforward.. u do speak ur mind on certain stuff..other times u prefer to select only wat u think is relevant..which is good.. shld not interfere in everything..
leader.. u r a leader in many ways..a leader to urself coz u have to love urself 1st wat..lol..n to ur frens..ur family & ur band mates.. leaders not really haf to take charge n haf posts.. scrape all the posts u guys r holding now..u guys r still e same.. n u guys haf to work together as a team n eliminating e mindset that i shld not step over e president blablabla.. ur president needs ur support.. so share ur opinions wif ur leader if u want ur organisation to be more stronger.. speak up ur mind if u think something's not right it does not mean taking over.. it's bout sharing.. dat's wat leaders shld do.. focus on e present & freedom-loving.. u can continue dreaming coz everyone wants freedom now.. haha..lol.. just work hard lah presently..
violent & impatient.. wen u cant get wat u want..can b violent through words or actions.. impatient coz u cant get things done ur own way.. usually deadlines lah eh
fiery, rash & extreme.. wen u think nth's right happening to u..n only more n more problems.. problems r unavoidable..yes we haf e gd times n bad times.. n e bad times r owaez more.. n we can get frustrated & otehr mixed feelings going on for one situation.. just endure lah..there's only so much we can do to overcome something.. just move on & dont look back on e past.. though it's tough.. sometimes u haf to lie to urself & others..thinking that u're okay.. but u're forever will not be..
arrogant.. havent c e quality yet
ok..end of story part 2.. lol..
ok. that's only 2 out of the many that i asked her.. hahax. scary, leyh..! lol..
ok meeting Women-izers now.. byesie. =D
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:30 pm
Monday, March 30, 2009
Mr. Ed Speleer
haha...
seems like i'm not the only one complaining.. *shrugs*
could someone KINDLY bring Mr. Ed Speleer to me please..? pleasepleaseprettypleasewithacherryontopplease? =DDD
shit he's hot.. and guess what..? he's bloody 21!!! but it's undeniable.. he is smokin'..
p.s.. he has a gorgeous body can?!
AND HE'S LEFT-HANDED!!! well.. forgive me.. but hot left-handed dudes are just irresistible to me. especially if he wears spectacles(sunglasses not included) jeng jeng jeng.. OMG! *runs around the room screaming and jumping*
wait.. is Shige left-handed? =/ HAHAHA!! shit.. Mr. Sexy Low Voice..
ARGH!!!!!
ok. in case you're wondering who the hell this person, 'Mr. Ed Speleer' is... well, he portrayed the character Eragon in.................................... well............................................ Eragon.. haha. =DDDD
and to Ansar................................ WHATEVER!!!! hahaha.
shit he's hot..
ok bye
p.s. i need to start reading books and indulging myself in Cate Tiernan's and L.J Smith's works againn.. I NEED BOOKS PLEASE! specifically vampire/witches/(any other that goes under this genre) stories.. do you know where i can get them?
it's ok. i'll live. i'll just continue to follow you goddamned 'system' until it's over..
goodbye.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
6:36 pm
WONDERGIRLS - NOBODY
i saw................. interesting............................... people on the way to school and back.. shall not elaborate further coz this post's designated for something more interesting..
i introduce to you...
NOBODY WONDER GIRLS (original)
(English Cover)
LIVE
Dance Covers:
ENJOY!
ok bye.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:28 am
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
blablablablablablablablablablabla
YAYY!!! i'm buh-lud-dy proud of myself!! =D
my brownies is niceeeyy!! =D it's super duper soft to the max. though it's a little too sweet, i think.. haha. ok that's all.. bye. =D
can someone tell me what the signs are, if a boy is into a girl? hmm..
Liy..!! i hate your MSN to the max larh. irritating.. go download the latest version, please.. haha..
jogging in 12 hours. HAHA! i'm bored and i'm supposed to be asleep right now.. i should only be awake in 4 hours. shit.
p.s. omg that gay mamak can??? da gay tu buat hal gay larh please.. masbee tk gune.. if you wanna tag-hate a STRAIGHT woman and accuse her of being a homosexual, please look at yourself in the mirror and stare at your dick. see if it's straight.. confirm bengkok2 punye larh sial.. she's homosexual coz she takes pictures hugging another girl.. hello.. you, a MALE.. TONGUING ANOTHER MALE.. GAWD! i just can't imagine.. sorry, woman. i can't handle it, arhh.. tag kat blog kau pn tk gune.. got character limit.. tagboard tk gune.. hahax. ouhh.. this part is just for that gay masbee, btw.. i don't have anything against gays.. but i have EVERYTHING against one(anyone) who pisses me or my humans off.. ok bye..
i miss my babies can? Farah Farah... kau nak gi tgk drg, tk..? before school opens.. haha.. i wanna see my boyfriend please.. i know yours da withdraw.. but i want to see mine.. haha. yayy.. we have boyfriends 1/3 our age.. =D
Azimah Azimah.. bile kau free..?? aku nk blg segala2nye tentang dietu.. and please bring me somewhere i can wash my eyes.. i wanna stare at pretty pretty boys please.. sadly, Singapore is so totally short of this. no wonder i see a lot of old, working, single ladies. and no wonder Singapore's so short of babies.. so little straight pretty males.. why are the pretty ones not straight? aiyaaaaa.... serious, lorh.. i see pretty pretty boys.. but......... disappointing, seyh.. and the straight ones are usually those mat-mat tepi jalan tk gune nye.. HAHA! ok i'm sucha bitch.. and i'm rambling coz i have bloody nothing to do..
you walk around the house.. when you dry or fold the clothes, and wash the dishes, you actually kind of work your arms without straining them.. hmm..
and when you cook or bake, especially for a large number of people, you work your forearm even more, having to stir the dish and/or batter/knead the dough.. interesting, eyhh..
i guess i should not whine so much when i have to do everyone's work at once.. since i'll be indirectly working out at home.. whee~ no need to gym nor tire myself out.. haha..
ok. bullshit. do you really work out when you do your house chores? i've been doing it for some time, but i feel that my flabs are................ flabby-ER.. .................................
well, at least my butt doesn't grow fat, since i won't be sitting around for long. after one chore, i have to do another. after that, i sleep.. HAHA! ok no. i'll be dancing and singing WHILE doing the house chores and AFTER. until either someone wakes up or someone comes home. after that...... i have no idea what i will do. my activites vary as the days go...
................................................................................................................. i'm so bored i have no idea what i'm typing.. and i'm dozing off just reading this crap..
just finished baking brownies coz he wants to bring to work for his colleagues. whatever fuck for, i have no idea, and i don't really care. Mummy asked me to bake another batch.. coz she wants to bring it to class. unfortunately, there weren't enough ingredients.. *sighs* and tomorrow, if i'm not TOO lazy, i shall try baking that cookie.. i'll be baking Chocolate Kiss Cookie without the chocolate kiss.. awesomeness can? hehee
ok. went up to the 16th storey, and 'ran' down the stairs to the first floor, then jogged around the multi-storey carpark.. went up up up to 7B, and went down the staircase. walked up home(I DIDN'T TAKE THE LIFT! =D). think i hurt my ankle somehow somewhere somewhen.. chilled for a while at home, TRYING to do push-ups and crunches and sit-ups.. Jij forced me to do THIRTY crunches and 15 sit-ups. i did 10(front)-10(left)-10(right) crunches and he made me do another 30 forward.. *faints*. haha. ok. i have a belly i'd like to get rid of please. =D i want gorgeous flat abs can? =D
i'm not fit, ok. i'm like.. the most unfit person you've ever met. and being in a slack CCA doesn't exactly help either. sit down the whole day, play play play. it's not like they mete out punishments and the such like in secondary school. at least in secondary school, we had to run for every single mistake.. it used to be push-ups, but it turned to running since we hardly ever do drills.. goddammit i miss drill to the max of the max possible can?
after chilling, played badminton till the lights went off.. Mr. Loke said that if you play badminton at least twice a week, you can tone your ass.. hmm... i'd like that, please. =D
oklaa.. tomorrow will be another session. hopefully i can start jogging around the neighbourhood soon =D and train my stamina.. =) mustmustMUST play loud..!!! Hazmi kept pestering me to play loud, it's kinda getting annoying.. so i must play loud to shut his mouth up.. jeng jeng jeeeng~~....... hahaha.. gomen! take this as an honour, since you're the one who's indirectly making me work out. whee~ even Mr. Tan asked me to play loud(how'd he know my name in the first place? damn that's freaky..)
Ansar sent me this super retarded song about a cow.. I am cow hear me moo~ i weigh twice as much as you and i look gooooooooooood on the barbecuuee~
no wonder he's a retard... he listens to these kindsa songs -.-'
Criss Angel has a gorgeous body can?
i want to eat please.. i baked brownies but i can't eat. =( saddening to the max. if i could, i would have finished it.. and then get diabetes... damn my brownies are sweet. haha. i want to try more of Shila's cookings please.
ok i shall not torture you anymore.. i know you're like.. most probably snoring and drooling already...
I'M BORED AND MY DAYS ARE FUCKING MUNDANE AND REDUNDANT.. this is one of those times i wish we didn't have such long holidays.. *dozes off* I WANT TO GO OUT LARH..!!! i'd be ecstatic if i could even go to school.. that's how pathetic my life is right now.. aiyaaaaa........... JACKIEE~!*imitates Jackie Chan's uncle in The Animated Series of Jackie Chan Adventures*
and i'm talking to Liy about how disappointed i am that i'm not a teeny bit upset about my results..
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:20 am
Monday, March 23, 2009
i'm listening to old songs, please.. GAHH!! Vengaboys, Toybox, and Aqua.. primary-school-era songs please.. rawrs.
and old Britney Spears and Christina Aquilera songs, please. haha..
Baby One More Time, Oops I Did It Again, Lucky, I Turn To You, Beautiful, Stronger, (You Drive Me) Crazy, Candyman, Ain't No Other Man, ya-dah ya-dah ya-dah.. hahaha. shit.
and i just found out that... If You Seek Amy = F U C K Me -.-' lol. ok. i'm outdated. i'm still living in the stone-aged world. whatever. haha.
Mummy got referred to the hospital coz of her heart. tulahh.. mls lagi, larh nak gi doctor for follow-up check-ups. kan da kene refer.. haha. but Alhamdulillah, it's nothing serious.. just the muscles around her heart. she's coming home. whee~ no burden on me.. hehee.. okok. i wanna go school please. i've been doing nothing but disturbing that poor minah who's doing the cataloguing all on his own.. awwwww.... sorry, asss.. haha.
love,
EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
6:44 pm
Sunday, March 22, 2009
ARGH! shit
i just don't get what problem you have with me.
you can say such nice things about them to nenek, but all you can come up with are my flaws.
what happens in this 5-room apartment you refer to as your 'home' you have no idea, right..? just what she tells you, right.? what i have been doing during my time at home, you have no fucking clue, do you.?
and you can still say i'm spending too much time outside. HE either goes out or sleeps. but you don't care. i go to school. i end late. HEL-LOO.!!!
it's POLY, dammit. lessons can end at 10pm. you're fking lucky, i'm in a school where lessons generally end at 6. and i only go home at 10 when i have practice. AND HOW FAR IS MY SCHOOL FROM YOUR HOUSE?!
it's the HOLIDAY. people ENJOY holiday. not stay cooped up in the house.
i feel suffocated, you know.
RIMAS ARH SIAK!
like.. seriously. you say you're not stopping me? honestly, i've been wanting to do that my entire life. i'm holding back coz of her. she's working coz of you. and YOUR kids can't exactly be depended on in the first place, can they.?
argh fuck it. i'll just have to 'be strong', don't i? whatever. i am still waiting for that one moment when you give me freedom to actually go out and HAVE FUN. despite what i've done, i'm stuck in this apartment. i feel like such a loser, you know.. when people YOUNGER than me actually know how to get to places while i'm still struggling, trying to figure out where it is.
_______________________________________________
on a lighter note, i took 52 from opposite Bukit Timah Plaza to school yesterday, and i think the bus driver's really cute.. hahax. shit. how old are you, Mr. Cutie? HE LOOKS YOUNG, OKAY!! and HE SMILED AT ME!!! whee~ his smile is so cute.! haha. =D ok. i don't go for OLD people, ok. i go for old-ER boys. HAHA! and trust me. that boy seriously looked YOUNG.! fk!
i was going up the overhead bridge to school, and i saw this fugly toad on the steps. geez.. i was wondering why Ansar was lying down on the steps of the bridge, when i realised it was just a toad. HAHA! peaceout, yaww.. =D ahha. i'm sucha bitch. ok bye.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:37 pm
Saturday, March 21, 2009
HOEDOWN THROWDOWN
pop it lock it polka-dot it countrify then hip-hop it put your hawk in the sky move side-to-side jump to the left stick it glide zig-zag across the floor shuffle in diagonal when the drums hit hands on your hips one-foot it one-eighty twist and then a zig-zag step and slide lean it left and clap three time shake it out head to toe throw it all together that's how we roll
i'm addicted to this dance, can? we should do this dance as part of our activity in the upcoming camp.. do it to the yr1s. heheheh
love, EFJ
edit:
this video is just fking awesome can? =D :
♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:07 am
Friday, March 20, 2009
kwang kwang kwang
woman is home alone woman is very happy woman can sing without worry woman can dance without people seeing woman is very excited
but
woman is very hungry woman is not happy woman has no food to eat woman is lazy to cook woman is sad
woman wants meatball soup and fried rice please.
haha.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
6:36 pm
shitmood
all i did was post my thoughts and i got dragged in. thanks for raking up the goddamn past.
there's a reason why it's called the PAST and there's a damn good reason why there are phrases that go, "you can't turn back time", "the past is over", and "let bygones be bygones".
Past [past, pahst/pæst, pɑst] -adjective gone by or elapsed in time -noun the history of a person, nation, etc.
History [his-tuh-ree, his-tree/ˈhɪstəri, ˈhɪstri] -noun the aggregate of past events
i know. i do know. i'm oblivious but i observe. you didn't have to state it.
i don't give a fuck what you do. but once you drag me, i can't sit down and do nothing. i'm nice. i tolerate. but i'm not a saint, whatmore God. my patience has its limits, and it's already thinning by so much. don't scrape anymore of my patience, please. i don't want to blow my fuse coz i know i'll regret it when it's already too late.
arhh fuck. i'm doing what i told myself i wouldn't after that volleyball tournament incident. fuckfuckfuckfuck _________________________________________________________
aiyaa.. i update almost everyday also kena nag, ask me to update.. haiyoo.. you want me to update every hour, is it..?
1500hrs: left house 1600hrs: on the way to school 1700hrs: reached school, opened room, started cataloguing 1800hrs: complained about being hungry, continued cataloguing 1900hrs: went for dinner, talked and laughed 2000hrs: continued cataloguing
WHAT. THE. FUCK.? boring like fuck, can?? hahaha.. GO LIBRARY AND BORROW A BOOK OR SOMETHING, LARHH!!! every 5 minutes, sia, you check my blog.. ok. that's an exaggeration.. but still.. you can still ask me on MSN how my life went, you know.. that's the beauty of limitless wireless access, and Instant Messaging. you can your answers... INSTANTLY -.-'
woman... you seriously need a goddamn life. even i who has none actually am doing something instead of complaining that noone updates their blogs. wtf larh.. go find yourself a boyfriend.
i got told that by my teacher, when i told her i missed her.. -.-'
Me: CHERRRR!!! I MISS YOU!!! =D teacher: go get a boyfriend
UWAHH!! saddening larh seyhs.! Adib Salji's favourite teacher just asked me to get a boyfriend. boohoo.. hahaha..
BOY-HUNTING WITH ZIZI SOON!! date me, woman! kala-ok session with Shila and Myra and whoever else on Monday. HOPEFULLY can go =D
and more cataloguing tomorrow onwards. ahh.. well, i'm not complaining. no matter how irritating and difficult it is, ironically, it soothes me and calms me down. at least, i'll be alone, and away from.. things.. _________________________________________________________
and i can never please you, can i? whatever i do seems wrong.. you keep saying i don't do my work properly, and that i'm NEVER doing my work.. FUCK..YOUR..ASS..UPSIDE-DOWN i do MY work AND i do YOUR CHILD's work and i still am labeled as 'lazy' i DON'T go anywhere EXCEPT school and you're angry at me for always going home late. i DO have my reasons, dammit. it's not like i go home late for the fun of it. it's not like i stay over at someone's place. YOUR CHILD does that. NOT me. I TELL YOU WHERE I'M GOING AND I GET SHIT. YOUR CHILD DOESN'T EVEN TELL AND YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK. i wear SCHOOL T-SHIRT AND JEANS and you doubt that i am going to school. i wonder what will happen once i take everything off. i start wearing spaghetti-strap or even strapless, and i wear fucking short shorts or skirts.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! WHY IS IT THAT I'M TRYING SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT NOR DO YOU EVEN GIVE A FUCK?!
i COOK for you. i CLEAN for you. i do YOUR work and MINE. it's not like i WANT those jobs. YOU forced it on me. YOUR GODDAMN CHILD FUCKING CRIED FOR MY JOB AND NOW SHE'S DOING NOTHING AND YOU DON'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING.
seriously. how much longer do you think i can take? it's just unfair. why are you treating me this way? BECAUSE I'M THE ELDEST DAUGHTER.
fuck your system. i just don't get it. i have my limits, too, you know. don't just think about yourselves, please. why is everything on me.? you have 4 kids. why am I getting all your shit?
that and this and that and this.. God forbid i might just commit suicide one fine day.
Ya Allah, Kau yang Maha Esa, Maha Kuasa, Maha Pengampun ampunilah segala dosa-dosaku, Ya Allah tolonglah hambaMu ini, Ya Allah. ringankanlah bebanku walau sedikit mana pun. tidak sanggup aku pikul semuanya. berilahku petunjuk berilahku kekuatan dan semangat untuk jalani liku-like kehidupan yang telah Kau tetapkan buatku. Amin
May i have the strength to continue this fight. i hope there's someone out there listening to my cries. i hope there's someone out there i can hold on to. my pillar is on the verge of crumbling totally, and noone is here.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
1:27 am
Thursday, March 19, 2009
CATALOGUING! rawrs.
FINISHED S-Z!!!!!
starting Stage Band tomorrow, and Percussion Ensemble.. when will our job ever end.? still have A-R to check for missing scores.. lol.. haiyaa..
and i just got nagged at by Xing Ting.. and just now Hazmi.. on Monday was Su.. ok.. they didn't actually 'nag'.. just mentioned something about my diet not being good for my health and body. although Hazmi said he was jealous that i hadn't gained weight no matter how much i ate.. like.. hello!! i went from 48 to 55 in a year, leyh! wahliao! what never gain weight..!! i just don't get fat, hor..!! and my definition of 'fat' and your definition of 'fat' is like.. heaven and hell.. totally different. haha. ok. i just mentioned my weight publicly.. yes, humans.. i'm YOUR definition of a FATASS. =D although to me, i'm skinny like fuck. i want more meat in me, please.. haha. even my flabs don't look like flabs -.-' ok. i think i just hide my fats well.. hehee
anyway..
THANK YOU, HUMANS FOR HELPING ME OUT JUST NOW.. COULDN'T HAVE FINISHED WITHOUT YOU PEOPLE. =D THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! i love you!!! ok. whatever.
i just don't get why you have to talk so goddamn loudly in the public transport, whether on the phone, or to someone who's with you, or in a group. you annoy people who actually like peace and quiet.
and i don't get people who fight with each other through blogposts. i mean.. no offence.. this is not JUST about you.. don't get it wrong. i don't dedicate ugly posts to anyone except when i say so. it's just in general. are they scared to actually talk it out or what..? why dedicate blogposts, with which you can use for better, more interesting stuffs for people you hate? and you go to THEIR blog to see what they wrote about you. HE-fucking-LO! you hate me, you ignore me. don't bother about me. don't post anything about me. don't come to my blog, wondering if i've posted something about you. when i don't, you think you've won, when actually, i just can't be bothered. and when you THINK i do, you make a comeback at YOUR blog.. as if i will read it.. i mean.. if i write about something i hate, MUST it be about you? i doubt you make THAT big of an impact in my life in the first place, please. and i hate a lot of things, too... you're just one of the minor ones, i can't be bothered about.. for instance.. i hate.. COCKROACHES. can't my hate-post be about cockroaches? geez.. don't feel too high about yourself, thinking that i will dedicate any part of my blog to you.. once you're out of my life, you're out. once you enter my hate-list, you're no longer a part of my blog, and there will be NOTHING in my blog about you.
now why can't people have the same mindset as me? you hate me? talk it out with me. either through MSN or face-to-face.. don't dedicate blogposts to me, whether it's a one-liner or a whole post. coz i..don't..give..a..fucking..damn. i mean, yeaa.. i feel honoured and all that you're so affected by me that you actually dedicate your blog to me.. but write what you want about me. i live my life the way i like it and i change for people who actually respect me and are brave enough to tell me my flaws in my face.. not through some shit blogpost.
p.s. i don't do ANONYMOUS CALLS from PRIVATE NUMBER claiming you're someone's ex, and representing a whole country either.
ok. i think i'm done. p.s. please don't take the above personally. it's not just for you. it's for the general. =)
Fay Fay sounds so gay. i sound like a fag.. no offence.. =/ lol.. i sound like a tranny.. *in a deep, man's voice: hey, baby.. i'm Fay Fay.. wanna go somewhere private?* LOL!! what-the-fucking-fuck.. hahaha
ok bye.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
12:49 am
Monday, March 16, 2009
shit
i felt super miserable on Saturday.
went for band late and made everyone wait for me. shit.
was drunk the whole day.. Ansar had to ask me like.. 4 times, the same question.. even then he didn't get a proper answer..
woke up, and almost fainted. got up a little later, and mum asked to cook chicken curry. ok. whatever fuck. the chicken's not even my curry material.. so scrawny and hardly any meat. gahh.. and when i cook, i make sure the meat's soft to the point that it's easily torn by fork and spoon. not just teeth and hand. ok. out of point.
anyway, finished, rushed out, bought chicken pau on the way. had to stuff myself and force it down to give me a boost.. omg. do you know how sucky that was???? do you know how miserable i felt?!?!?! #$&%*i mean.. it's chicken pau!! CHICKEN PAU for crying out loud..!!! you ENJOY chicken.. you SAVOUR chicken.. you DON'T force chicken down your throat.. GAHH!!!! another out of point.
went to school. reached school bustop and almost toppled over.. ran to the band room, and almost blacked out.
Ansar and Hazmi still pakat make me play first for one of the pieces.. and Mr. Tan asked me to play loud.. buncha assholes.. hahaha.. but fun, larhh.. 'nota berlari'.. hehehehe. felt loads better after that. noo.. not from the 'nota-nota berlari'.. from the practice in general.. laughed at the other's miseries.. hehee.
and i walked in the rain after that.. kwang kwang kwang.. confirm sick again soon.. hahaha. okok.
saw a magnificent sight today.. hush hush hush. or Abang'll kill me.. heheee.. *giggles* okdaa..
cataloguing starting tomorrow. go me! rawrs. results in about 5 days. and i'm not sure if i feel anything.. is there something wrong with me? but i know i'll fail some modules, maybe all.. =/
hmm.. what should i do?
ok. this is way off.:
i just don't get what is with people who take up the aisle seat when the window seat is available. what's even worse is that taken window seats with available aisle seats are aplenty. and they still choose to get the two empty seats. especially when they're travelling a long distance.. even then, when people board the bus and have to stand, they start a 'staring game'. i stare at you, you stare at me, but you don't give me that seat beside you. if it's used to put your heavy luggage, i guess it's ok.. but if it's fking empty, and you don't offer it..? what. tah. fuck. ? i'm not one of those who just say 'excuse me' and start moving in before you can respond. i wait for you to offer. and i know majority of us do. when people actually say 'excuse me', you give them that what-the-fuck-do-you-want-and-who-are-you-to-come-busting-in-like-that look. so why don't you either shift your selfish ass inside, or move sideways, and offer your seat. especially to the needy who's standing right beside you. goddammit. PUBLIC TRANSPORT DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN YOU ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. PUBLIC TRANSPORT MEANS IT'S FOR THE PUBLIC TO USE. IT'S FOR THE COMFOR OF THE PUBLIC. NOT JUST YOUR SORRY ASS.
and what is so wrong about moving in? if you want to be with your friends, ask your friends to fking move in with you, and leave the seat open for the others or the needy. people are boarding the bus, trying to get somewhere, and there's no space. can you be a tad considerate and move the f in..? when are you alighting? why must you hog the exit door? you're not only leaving no space, you're blocking the way of people who actually want to move.
shit. i'm starting to sound like someone who keeps blogging about the typical inconsiderate Singaporean. hahaha. shhhhh.. don't hate me, ok, sayang.. HAHAHA! =P ok. i'm done. =D
woohoo i'm dating someone 1/3 my age.. HOORAH, FARAH AND ME! WE GO FOR YOUNG ONES! hahaha, kwang kwang kwang... and he actually believed it.. -.-' zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ohh.. Nenek asked if i wasn't eating enough.. HAHAHA!!! kwang kwang kwang... ATASHI?! TABETE INAI?! jengjengjeng.. news of the century... coz she said i haven't been putting on weight.. lol.. coz i still look as scrawny as ever.. hahhaa.. my fats are well hidden. kekeke.. don't be jealous, ok, don't be jealous. hehee.
it's ok, darling.. i mean.. who am i to expect everyone in the world to love me? it's fine. i'm alive. i'm smiling.. =) ^.^ hahhahaa. =D
p.s. shila;: hahaha. whichever it was, my fried macaroni still nicer, kankankankaaannn..?? hahaha. p.p.s. xt: lol! i'm not stressed, liaoo.. i'm sick.. HAHA! jengjengjeng.. why'd you change your nick anyway..? lol. arigatou, nee-chan~ =D
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
3:35 am
Friday, March 13, 2009
sicksicKsiCKsICKSICK!!!! rawrs
ok. i haven't eaten properly since.... 12/03/08 3AM.. that means i haven't eaten properly for.. ehh.. 43 hours.. =D even then, i ate like.. 3 sardine puffs my dad bought somewhere in Woodlands.. lol.. now is that awesome or what.. Shila.. i challenge you to beat that.. haha. =D
okla.. i won't torture you.. i know you won't be able to survive. =D
hmm.. i have no appetite can..? and i still have to go band tomorrow whether i want to or not.. *sighs* fever larh seyhs..
yesterday went for band even though i had flu.. i scared later minah kill me.. then he merajuk.. dowan talk to me anymore.. LOL! just kidding. =D forced one panadol pill down my throat when i got home, and went to bed after showering.. but i couldn't sleep till about 2.. zzzzzzz got high fever in the morning. like.. super high..? it's cooled down a bit now.. but still feverish.. and i'm too lazy to eat panadol.. *sighs* argh..!! i hate being sick. i don't have any appetite.. and that means i can't eat. if i want to eat, i'll have to force myself.. and i don't like forcing food down my throat.. food is supposed to be enjoyed.. not forced.. right, Shila..? haha. *sighs*
ok. that's all. bye.
p.s. Myra, Shila and Syima: I LOVE YOU TOO!! hahaha. slengers.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:00 pm
Thursday, March 12, 2009
AMAZING KID TALENTS
16-year-old singer
5-year-old rapper
10-year-old singer
14-year-old break-dancer
awesome kids from all around the world. have fun! =D
this is random, but nice nonetheless, though more to funny
a question for readers, known and unknown =) how do you deal with unfairness, that just won't go away no matter how you try and no matter how many times you turn it around, there's no other answer except biasness?
conversation between my younger brother and me. haha. sorry for the amount of vulgarities and rudeness.. that's how i talk to him sometimes. ^.^
i don't fucking get it the whole day i've been doing the housework, cleaning the house and cooking.. and what do i get? a whole lot of fuck.
whoa2
aku buat anak drg nye keje. and they do this to me.
you do your housework clean the house and you cook yeah that's great BUT you wake up oh so bloody late that's what piss them offf during school you can even wake up yourself
ehh hello. anak drg bgn kul brape pun, tinggal rumah satu hari pun tak buat paper, per.. sme mak kau yg buat, pe. pdhl die yg nak sgt keje aku.
keje kau? oi mak aku kluar gi kerje gi cari duit jadi kau bole hidup
bukan mak kau, bodoh. kakak kau. die yg dulu merengek nak keje aku. skg satu bende ala pun die tk buat. tgk amek Os..? klakar, siak.. Os thn nie boleh kluar gi Escape, perr.. dgr2 buat keje rumah boleh membodohkan, per.. gi Ecape nanti sng blaja per.
oh sorry keje kau? tak paham
dulu kan org cuci baju, jemur baju, lipat baju.. abeh kakak kau yg merengek nak keje aku. keje die sme Mama buat, per. die gi skola, blk, buat hal sndiri kat dlm bilik
lol yeah actually you're right mama doesnt do your chores but mama does the drying, washing and folding and sometiems you even do it for her
i just did yesterday and today. now what.the.fuck does that bitch do? and she gets to go out?? WOOHOO!! i wonder what i got when i was sitting for Os
lol haixxx cabaran dari Allah terime lahh
but it's fucking unfair. they kept comparing me to your brother. have they ever compared her to me? and yea, right, he didn't get freedom when he was my age
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
12:37 am
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
3 dreams in 9 hours
before i start, please flush all your emotions away and shut your brain down. just keep an open mind and don't ask me anything.
MY FRIEND AND I WERE RUNNING. away from something. she led me to a small shed somewhere on the grass beside a road. soon after, a few topless, finely-built men entered. ok. so not a few. many, in fact. they were all looking at me. not giving me any looks, not even confused, or whatever. just looking at me. i felt that something was not right. my friend then gave me a guilty look. i then ran out of the shed, screaming for help, the men chasing after me. i then ran into my 'Godbrother and his fiance'(i don't have a godbrother in real life. but somehow, i knew he was my godbrother). they brought me home and kept me safe. the police were informed, and a detective was assigned to keep me safe. wherever i go, she had to escort. a few times, i spotted one or two of the men just watching me from a distant. one day, something happened and 2 police cars were assigned to protect me. one of the police cars, however, were filledd with traitors. the traitors then took a shortcut and arrived to me first. when i knew it, a very bright light had blinded me and i closed my eyes. i was surrounded. someone grabbed me, and another tried to gag me with a small towel. however, i turned away, and when i opened my eyes, i found myself under my blanket, and my sister sitting on our bed. it seemed that my sister was getting ready for school, and the blinding light was my sister switching on the light in our room. nonetheless, i was deeply terrified, and i prayed that nothing like that happen to me or anyone. it was terrifying, being grabbed by strong hands, with nowhere to go, and almost being gagged. the dream went on much longer than this, actually. i just forgot some unnecessary details.
I WAS IN SCHOOL. outside class, arranging papers. the environment looked like that in MI. my girlfriend approached me and talked about a guy she has taken a liking to, and was wondering if he was giving her hints. i then saw the boy in the conversation standing nearby, waiting for my friend. she got excited, and she went with him. another boy then approached me, and we started talking. the scene then changed to a fast-food restaurant. someone gave us a big treat. before we started eating, the treat-er started a lecture on eating a lot. however, noone listened to him and just went on eating and talking amongst themselves. yes, this dream is redundant. it is, however very weird, and i can't find any meaning to it, except maybe that i tend to eat too much without any care in the world, sometimes. hmm..
I WAS AT HOME. in my room. my dad kept entering my room and just sitting on my bed, watching my television without my permission. there was once, i was changing, and my dad barged in, when i was topless. ok. not topless. wearing just my bra and pants, and about to put on my T-shirt. i just sat down, leaning my side against my wardrobe, and my T-shirt just covering my other side, and crying. my dad wanted to console me, but i just kept crying and he finally went out of my room.
i know the first and third dream have to have a meaning behind it. i just don't know what. maybe my third dream is about my privacy always being intruded into.. not by my dad, but i'm not sure why he's the one i hate in there. maybe i just feel uncomfortable being around him, now that i'm a teen-aged girl and i have things i can't share with a man. and it doesn't help that the ladies in the house are not exactly attentive of my needs.
Rape Dream Meaning Psychological Meaning: For a man this may be a sadistic expression of sexual desire. It may show feelings of vengeance towards the opposite sex. For a woman this dream may represent fears of sex or masochistic fantasies. Mystical Meaning: Even the Victorian dream books cover this topic. Superstition claims that if a woman dreams of rape her pride will be wounded. You will hear shocking news if you dream that a friend is raped. source: http://www.dreamsleep.net/rape-dream-meaning.html To dream that you have been raped, indicates vengeful feelings toward the opposite sex. You are feeling violated in some way or being taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You feel that someone or something is being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life.To see a rape being committed in your dream, denotes sexual dysfunction or uncertainty. source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090213132741AAVKmDw
In general, chasing dreams signify some sort of anxiety, fear, or feeling of entrapment in daily life, such as a stressful job or unhappy marriage. Chasing dreams are literally "fight or flight" situations where you choose "flight." These dreams don't occur if you have faced and dealt with whatever it is you fear during waking hours. Can you get away from your pursuer? If yes, then you are anxious for sure, but subconsciously you feel you can handle whatever the problem is. If no, you likely feel there is no easy escape for the anxiety-provoking situation, and you likely feel trapped and helpless. Many people report being chased in slow motion during dreams. This represents your dream strategy to buy time to come up with a way out. If you are completely stuck in the dream, it signifies that you are frozen inside with no idea which way to turn. Can you get away from your pursuer? If yes, then you are anxious for sure, but subconsciously you feel you can handle whatever the problem is. If no, you likely feel there is no easy escape for the anxiety-provoking situation, and you likely feel trapped and helpless. Many people report being chased in slow motion during dreams. This represents your dream strategy to buy time to come up with a way out. Where are you being pursued? If you are completely stuck in the dream, it signifies that you are frozen inside with no idea which way to turn. Chasing dreams very often signify vulnerability. When trying to interpret such a dream, look inward first - it may turn out to be your own demons haunting you. Whether internal or external, try to pinpoint what exactly it is that is making you feel insecure or threatened, and take positive steps to relieve the pressure. Do write down any conclusions you come to and revisit that page in your journal in a few weeks to see if the issue has been reduced or resolved. source: http://www.mysticalblaze.com/DreamsChased.htm
i have also experienced this: Sleep Paralysis: Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which the person involved is unable to perform voluntary movements as the result of brief, partial or complete muscle paralysis. It usually occurs while lying in the supine (face up) position at the onset of sleep or upon awakening. Sleep Paralysis is described by the people who have experienced it as “terrifying” because they don’t understand what is happening to them. Sometimes hypnogogic (occurring in the state of intermediate consciousness preceding sleep) hallucinations are present during episodes of SP which makes the victim feel as though someone is sitting on their chest trying to crush or suffocate them. In certain instances they may also feel as if they are being bitten or choked and the presence is often described as threatening and malevolent. This type of occurrence is more commonly called the “Hag Phenomena”. Although the research and knowledge on this phenomenon is very limited, it has been happening to people for thousands of years and it has recently been discovered that 25 to 30 percent of the population has experienced a least a mild form of SP in their lifetime. We still do not know exactly why SP occurs but research has finally been able to explain what is physically happening to us during an episode. What can cause Sleep Paralysis? It is believed that the hallucinations during Sleep Paralysis are a result of a malfunction in the normal REM state of sleep. During a normal REM state, our brains send a message to the rest of our body to turn off or cease our regular motor functions so we are unable act out our dreams which could cause us to harm ourselves. Research has shown one possibility that the brains neurons fail to remind the body that it is presently awake resulting in paralysis or muscle atonia. Other things that may factor into this type of experience are: •Falling asleep on your back •Stress •Sleep Deprivation source: http://www.mysticalblaze.com/DreamsSleepParalysis.htm
ok. i know it's long. but i hope you've enjoyed reading it and have learned something.. =/ ok. nights.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:00 pm
Sunday, March 08, 2009
i wonder if the one mistake i did that was just unforgivable in your eyes was being born too early.. or just being born in general.
what do you want from me? i do everything to please you and i don't get anything. what has she done? and she gets all that freedom? don't give me crap about her taking her Os and thus, you don't want to stress her out. hello. i did sit for Os once. i was practically grounded the whole year. couldn't go out unless to school.. i can't even do STUDY GROUPS.
argh! fuck. like he always says.. "i..don't..give..a..flying..fuck"
you don't care about me, i don't care about you. i tried understanding you, but i don't see any effort from your side. simple. you can take a day off to send them off, but you couldn't for me. was it because i didn't have to take an airplane? you can fetch them, but you couldn't fetch me. was it because it was so near, you didn't feel the need to? you were sleeping when i got home.
you followed him and you asked someone to follow her when they collected their results. my time? you couldn't care less about my results. when i told you i got an A for Math, you were "thrilled" notice the italicised word. it has to mean something for it to be italicised. even in primary 2 and 3. prize-giving ceremony. i got 1st in class in p2 and highest in Malay in p3. did you come and see me go up the stage and receive my prize? did you even care?
i start to think back and wonder when was it that you had actually been there to support me. unfortunately, either i have lost my memory or it never happened.
you gave me chores when i was 6. when was it that she started doing housework? i started sleeping on my own when i was 5. how old was she when she slept with me? how old is he and he's still sleeping with you? i try to get close to you and be pampered by you and you push me away. why is it that i always try at the wrong timing and not them?
you kept comparing me and him. have you ever compared me and her? you keep saying that i'm the elder, so i have to do more work. SHE'S THE YOUNGER AND SHE GETS MORE FREEDOM?! I DON'T FUCKING GET HOW YOUR FUCKING SYSTEM WORKS.
and you ask me to obey your rules as long as i'm living under your roof. i've never followed them. but have i ever gone against them? you keep pestering and shouting at me to do my work. i don't see you ever doing so at her. you ask me to do their work. when have they or YOU for that fucking matter helped me? you're not happy with me hardly ever being at home. but i still do what is expected. she's home the whole day and nothing's done. i don't ever see you complaining. he comes and goes as he pleases. i don't see you complaining.
when i did something wrong, you make it such a big deal. you raise your voice so people from the blocks nearby could hear. you shout at me when they are around. but when i did something right, i don't even see a gesture of appreciation or a smile from you. you just keep mum.
why is it always me you have a problem with? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO WRONG?! was it being born.? was it being fertilised? you said i was 'unplanned'. it might have been a joke to you. do you know how much it hurt to have heard that? from YOU? and he keeps saying i was abandoned and that either you found me in the bin nearby or someone left me at your doorstep. yes, it's a fucking joke. but do you know how many times that thought has crossed my mind? how many times i wonder if it was true. how many times i wonder if that actually happened?
it's ok. i've been living like this the past 18 years. i think i can survive a few more years.
Ya Allah, give me the strength to continue show me the right path light my way and give me the willpower to overcome this obstacle you have given upon me. Amin.
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
9:43 pm
Saturday, March 07, 2009
memories =)
opening up sucks, doesn't it? haha. especially if it's about a sad past.. =)
don't worry, darling.. just look forward. we can make this work, yea. we will. =)
and if he doesn't like it, it means he feels pressured and intimidated.. coz you're in it. and he knows you can do it. so just prove yourself. don't because of him you back out.. na'ahh.. i ain't likin' that decision one bit. haha. aiyaa.. he's jealous, larhh.. you're in it and not him.. like.. too bad, bitch.. haha. that's what i use to comfort myself.. lol.. sorry.. ego-boost =P and i have an ego of... a Nishikido Ryo. sexy Osaka man =P WHOOSH! i still prefer my sexy-voiced Shige, though.. Kuchizuke wo~ kyaa~! *hyperventilates then melts and dies* =D ok. out of topic.. hehee. but that's it! =D
ouhh ouhh ouhh.. i have a video blog.. like how awesome is that?! no.. not vlog.. video blog.. a PRIVATE blog where i post videos i've recorded using my ultra-lousy phone. =P ahh.. memories.. haha. =D
i wanna play pieces we used to play in secondary school.. gosh.. we should like.. make alumnis gather together and practice damn old pieces like.. Majestia.. gosh.. how many times have we played that piece? haha. The Golden Circle.. memories!! Blue Ridge Saga(quite an awful memory, i know, but it's still quite nice).. uhh.. Tales of Sea and Sail(i remember Wen Nan kept making Izzati and i staccato every syllable of our names.. Iz.Za.Ti. Fa.Ie.Zah.).. HIGHLIGHTS FROM GREASE!! haha. Hawaii-Five-O.. wahh.. effing old pieces, larhh.. but i seriously miss all those memories.. i miss Atifah, Iffah, renes, Tiffany(the DAMN tall senior), Yinzhen(ELIZABETH), Zhiting(or however her name was spelt =/), Joanna(constantly kena tortured by her), Huang Yun, Izzati, Janelle, Agneta, all these are from my section.. those not from my section, Adibah, Hanisah, Fatin, Iman.. aiyaa.. many more, larhh.. haha.. but yeaa.. i miss these people, can? *sighs* listening to our batch's SYF recordings made me remember them.. lol.. good and bad memories both.. =D
first recording is.. uhh.. =D second recording is nice. =)
ok. i think that's all.. this post's full of crap.. i know.. haha. =P
ouhh ouhh ouhh.. I WANNA PPLAY SOUND OF MUSIC PRETTY PLEASE =D haha. i know i'll suffer with all the high notes and running notes for the winds.. but i don't care.. the song's DAMN nice! =D
maybe we should play pieces each school played for competitions during our batch. gosh. that'll be nice.. haha. =P okok. done.
p.s. that's part of your name, woman! and since when has 'Najian' sounded Indian? gee.. what's wrong with Indians anyway? hmm..?? hahaha. =P but i always mixed you up with either Shila or Fiqah(another Syafiqah in my life) haha. p.p.s. SHILA UPDATE BLOG PLEASE? =D i love you! =)
love, EFJ
♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:25 am
*The Princess*
Nur Faiezah
Capricorn Goat sinfully.innocent@hotmail.com PAP Bedok North(Nursery)
PAP Simei(K1; K2) Changkat Primary(1A; 2K; 3A; 4A; 5C) Wellington Primary(5/1; 6/1) Ahmad Ibrahim Secondary(1E5; 2E5; 3E5; 4E6)
Millennia Institute(PAE)
Ngee Ann Polytechnic's School of Humanities: Diploma in Early Childhood Education(1CO2) CKP Netball
CKP Malay Dance
WPS Library
AISS Concert Band
MI Symphonic Band
NP Concert Band
NP Japanese Tsubasa Club
LOVES whatever she likes almost anything and everything :D
DISLIKES Cockroaches; the only things that can make me run all the way to the other end of the world Backstabbers? Those who can't keep secrets Confinement Limitations Assholes(except you-know-who=D) Idiots(except.. well.. =D) Hardly anything else :D
