Thursday, April 02, 2009

why can't i get any encouragement and support around here?

walking home from the interchange is a bloody big achievement for me, ok.. i know you've done that a lot of times.. there was absolutely no reason to dampen my spirits, dammit.. ahh.. should've just kept it to myself.. ohh well.. this ain't stoppin' me from my 'healthy' lifestyle =D



i've been walking to Al-Azzhar now and only taking bus from there.. =) planning to do this everyday after school.. hopefully as time passes, i can go further.. and get to know the route.. and hopefully by the end of.... say... the semester...? i can actually travel to Bukit Panjang by foot alone.. =DDD super far-fetched, i know.. from my physique and fitness level.. but hey.. what's wrong in dreaming? =)) now who's wimme??

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i guess only crazy people would be. ohh well.. it's not like i can't do it on my own.. ^.^ YAY ME!! =D



i hate it when people assume when it's pretty obvious..
why must you assume that person knows everything about me just because we seem close?
why must you keep saying that person is my 'best friend' just because we talk all the time?
let me tell you once and for all.. i do not have a 'best friend'.. i don't even call the girls i have known for more than 5 years my 'best friends'.. whatmore someone i have only met for barely one..
true, i love them to bits, and they are everything to me and all.. but they are not my 'best friends' i do not take anyone as my 'best friend'.. sorry, but it's true.. they are people i love to bits.. they are my godsisters.. that's it.. not 'best friends'
i am naturally 'close' - as you might say - to anyone.. why don't you say everyone is my 'best friend' then?

do you have any idea the definition of a 'best friend'? a 'best friend' is someone you regard as the... well.. 'best' friend you ever had.. he/she is someone whom you tell every bloody thing to.. he/she is someone who knows you inside-out.. he/she is someone who needs not be told about anything. he/she is someone who is capable of knowing everything just by looking at your face.. he/she is someone you simply cannot hide anything from or lie to.. he/she is someone you tend to blurt anything and everything out to without being asked.. he/she is someone you need not be cautious around.. he/she is someone you can be yourself with.. he/she is someone who actually knows when you're serious and joking when others think otherwise.. he/she is someone who.. well.. simply understands and loves you, whacked-out or not, smart or stupid, gorgeous or fugly...

yes, that's the definition of a 'mother'.. but then again.. who actually cares and compares?

and why does it seem like i'm so easy to use? to be taken advantage of? is my life that insignificant and pathetic you only realise my existence when you need my help? you shun me when i don't help you, and you shun me after i help.. what am i to you? a rusty tool too expensive to change?

and now this post has turned depressing.. i'm a depressed soul ready to suicide anytime. ^.^"

nights, humans! =)

p.s. i love my girls to the max, still, despite that thingie up there. just know that... it's just that experiences change me.. i hope you don't take it too hard.. i love you and i still remember everything you have done for me.. :-) and i am really grateful to you for having entered my life and for accepting my existence in yours..

love,
EFJ

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1:16 am