Tuesday, February 24, 2009

i think my life purpose is to be everyone's punching bag. i'm not hit physically.. just mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.

when you are depressed, or stressed, or lonely, or in need of help, or just someone, you find me. when you are not, you throw me one side. when you have no friends, you find me, you get close to me, you become my 'best friend'. when you have friends, you don't even talk to me. when i talk to you nicely, you give me that fucked-up tone.

when you're frustrated, you vent it out on me. everything i do suddenly seems wrong. you become so sarcastic, so hurtful. you start to state my flaws in a hateful and disgusted tone.

when you need help, i help, even when you don't ask. when i do, you come up with stupid excuses, beat around the bush, twist your words, and even lie to me.

when you need someone, i'm always there. i stop everything, even if i was studying for my test/quiz/exam, for you, even if we're not close. i put whatever i'm doing aside, even if it was my assignment, due in a few hours. and put you first. but when it's me, it seems that you're always busy, or don't have the time.

i'm not expecting sympathy nor empathy. i'm not asking for apologies. i just want to be treated fairly. is this justice? to hell with all that 'life is unfair' fuck.

life IS fair, in case you didn't notice. it's people that make it unfair.

i treat you nicely, and you give me fuck. no matter how busy i am, i try to make time for you. no matter how packed i am, i try to help whenever possible. no matter how tight my schedule is, i try to listen to you. and what do i get? a whole lot of fuck.


you twist your words and lie to me. and i forgive you. and you do it again. and the cycle continues. you ask me to help you. but what are you doing?

yes. i'm a sensitive, fucked-up jealous bitch. i'm jealous of people who actually have friends who don't give them crap and people they can actually talk to about whatever. while i. i have only people who come find me for help and then run away.

so my sole purpose in life is to be everyone's servant. going wherever doing whatever for you, while you sit there, shake your legs and laugh at me. gee. whatever.

arhh.. fuckit. i'm too nice already. and it'll probably go on till forever. trusting everyone i come into contact with, and giving them every chance to lie to me. that's life.

if i become cold, everyone'll hate me. argh. we can never please everyone in life, can we?

ok. that's all. bye.


p.s. ECOLOGICAL VIEW and PERCEPTUAL-MOTOR coupling are like the MOON and the SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! it took you THIS long to figure out?! how dumb can you be??? omg!! 3 marks, lehh!! 3 fucking marks, Faiezah!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! *sighs*


love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
2:57 am