Wednesday, July 30, 2008

shit

i hate being sick.. seriously..

i woke up feeling woozy and giddy all of a sudden.

in IT pract, i was suddenly overcome with sleepiness.

on the way back to Woodlands, sudden fatigue overwhelmed me and i almost fell(fainted) when the bus driver braked. lucky, i was still firmly gripping on to a seat and that jolted me up. and luckily, someone alighted, so i had a seat ^.^ whee =D

hrmm.. also on the way to Woodlands, my throat suddenly went dry.. as in.. after-you've-run-many-rounds-without-stopping-to-have-a-drink kind of dry.. solid dry.. even after swallowing my saliva many many times, it's still dry.. even now, it's dry..
my lips've been dry since morning.. well, actually, my whole mouth is dry.. even now..

and mucus've been running non-stop since morning(yes, this part is disgusting). hrmm.. what else? i've been yawning non-stop since the time i woke up..

is this the after-effect of that bloody fever on Sunday?

but i've never experienced anything like this.. all in one shot.. it's seriously tiring. i need to start dieting and exercising.. like what Azri said, "this is why you have to exercise" -.-

shit, larhh.. Fathiah asked me to get well soon coz vacation's coming -.- i was fully expecting her to say that exams are coming.. but she said vacation instead =.="

and you know what?? vacation=band practice.. T_T sadded.. not that i'm complaining.. but band practice equates to more attitudes and more *ahem* and more *ahem* and more shit to face.. and my Sudoku partner won't be there T_T
Rondeau XXIII.. bloody hell..
Latiff said it'll be on 3rd Jan.. *wiggles eyebrows*

i want to go to Nek Ngah's kampung at Muar.. i miss Tok Ngah's Mee Bandung T_T.. but problems just don't seem to cease for me..

speaking of problems, i feel like crying.. i just want to cry.. i want to let it all out..
i don't want anyone to hear(not even the pumpkins, no offence. but i don't want to trouble you people anymore than i already have)
but i need someone.. i need someone's shoulder to cry on.. i need someone's ear to complain to.. i need someone to pour my heart out to.. i need someone to spill all my worries out to..

but who's willing to listen to a 17-year-old lazy, whiny little idiotic bitch?




Fi.. i don't know if i can take it anymore..
a part of me is asking me to continue waiting.. that i should stay positive, like you said.. that he might just notice me(as in really notice me) one fine day.. the signs are there. just got to wait a while longer..
another part can't take it anymore.. i should just move on and not wait.. it might turn out like -fill in the blanks- i'm getting my hopes up for nothing. i'm living on false hope and pretenses, and i should just forget about it.. i'm just his friend at most, nothing more. i should move one before i get crushed real bad and i don't come out again..
and i'm seriously confused.. i don't know which one is stronger..



shit.. this post's full of emo shizz.. and it's not the lack of dairy products, i swear..


i'll stop here before tears start spilling out..


p.s. who's willing to lend me their shoulder and ears and just be there for me?



love,
EFJ

♥;*~♪~*;♥
10:00 pm