Friday, January 25, 2008

i'm sure your parents are supportive and will continue to support you no matter your decisions. well, that's good for you. i'm happy for you.


at least you have people to console you when you reach home. at least you have people who understand your situation or at least try to.


at least they don't rub it in. at least they don't keep stating the obvious. at least they don't keep on repeating your failures and not even one of your passes..


i'm depressed.

i don't know if i can do it..

i don't know if i can go on..














ohh wells.. it doesn't matter anyway. what's done is done. i didn't do as i had hoped. but neither did my worst fears come true. so i'm ok.. so don't worry about me, okay. :)

thank you for your concern. but i'm fine. really. i just have to face him and them. and prove to all that i can be better than him.


i will try harder than my hardest. i will do better than my best in all. i will prove to you that i can do it. just wait for my results. patiently wait and i will prove you wrong. i will make it. i will be better than him. i will be better than them. trust me. InsyaAllah, i will bring home something for you to be proud of. i will make you proud of me. i will make you regard me again. i will make you acknowledge me again. sorry for embarrassing you. but i will make you proud again. i will not lose to them. i will not be demoralized. i will not be stressed out because of them. i will be a role model for all. i will make them look up to me and to us. i will not let you down.



trust me. wait for me and don't give up on me. i beg of you. wait for me as i climb up the long steep steps to the highest level and bring you along with me. wait for me as i get better and better in this world. and don't give up on me whilst i do it. don't give up on me when i need it most. i don't care if you hate me. just don't give up on me. i need motivation. i need something to work to that level for. if you give up on me, i will have nothing to work for. i'm working for your acceptance. i'm working for your love again. don't give up on me and make me lose my reason to work so hard for. i beg you. please don't.



it really doesn't matter what's written on that piece of paper. all i need now is the fact that you will never give up on me. all i need now is the possibility that you will wait for me no matter how slow or how long it takes, you will just wait for me, and wait patiently. all i need now is the assurance that you will smile for me again one day. that you will smile because of me again one day. that's all i need. assurance, motivation, and reason. i don't need numbers or letters to make me work. i need you and the assurance that i am never alone. that you will still be there when i get there. believe in me. trust me. that's all i need from you. please. InsyaAllah. i will do it. i will reach that level.

♥;*~♪~*;♥
11:10 am